Believe, Practice, Choose – the Gift of Self Care: Day 1

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Believe Self Care is Not Selfish

Healthy selfishness . . . means we take care of our body and value our needs, desires, feelings, and dreams. —Blake D. Bauer

Many of us have grown up believing we must put the needs of others first, before our own needs. Mother Teresa did this, right? I’m here to give you permission to let go of this erroneous belief. Put on your oxygen mask first.

Have you ever said, “I can’t take a vacation or spend money on myself. I can’t even make time to nap, take a walk, or relax. My spouse, my kids, my family, and my friends must come first?”

You’re just a generous person, fulfilling your purpose, doing what’s expected of you, right?


We need to stop believing we don’t matter and start replenishing our minds, bodies, and spirits.”

What you’re doing is saying you don’t matter, you aren’t worth it, you come second, third, and fourth to everyone and everything in your life. This is why we must believe self care is not selfish and self care is crucial to being our best. We need to stop believing we don’t matter and start replenishing our minds, bodies, and spirits. Only then can we be there for those we love and give of ourselves in a way that benefits everyone.

For years, I took care of my parents while they suffered from cancer and Alzheimer’s. I watched them wither away in the latter part of their lives. I gave them all I had, and in the end, I had withered away, too. I was not being my best self for them—and I certainly wasn’t being my best self for my husband and daughter. I became depressed, overweight, out of shape and so very sad because I gave away more than I had. I had nothing left for anyone I loved, including myself.

That’s when I learned that self care is not selfish. That’s when I started taking better care of myself. That’s when I ramped up my yoga and meditation practices and lost weight. I closed my 15-year-old business. I got better at asking for help from my siblings, friends, and local organizations like the American Cancer Society. I did not know they had volunteers who could drive cancer patients to appointments. All this gave me the time to start my self care journey.

Start your self care journey by changing the way you look at selfishness and see how “healthy selfishness” can mean you have more to offer all those you love. Take time out for self care. With your renewed spirit and fresh new outlook on life, you and your loved ones will be grateful you did.

Quick Action Step: Write one thing you can do today for self care. Maybe it’s as simple as closing your eyes for 5 minutes, or scheduling a doctor appointment you’ve been putting off, or reading another tip from this book.

You’ve just read an excerpt from Believe, Practice, Choose – the Gift of Self Care: 21 Tips for Your Self Care Tool Belt. Order a copy on Amazon at